Computer Science Lecturer · Tech Handyman
Farid
Wakim
Fixes your laptop. Breaks your hand.
📍 Narnia (unconfirmed). GPS gave up years ago.
About
Farid is a computer scientist who got so desperate for a job that he started teaching computer science. Those who can't, teach. Those who really can't, teach computer science.
To be fair, he actually knows things. Hand him a dead laptop, a fried circuit board, or a router that hasn't worked since 2019 and he'll fix it before you finish explaining the problem. He's the friend everyone calls when something beeps and shouldn't.
He lives somewhere so far away that nobody has visited twice. Directions involve a wardrobe. He greets you with a handshake that stops blood flow to the fingers, and says goodbye with a middle finger. Sometimes both. Sometimes at the same time.
Vital Statistics
Somewhere between 50 and 100. The highest on this site. The bar is on the floor.
Measured in PSI. Clinic visits are not covered.
Genuinely dangerous levels. Soldering iron always warm.
Rises to 100 when teaching. Falls to 94 when asleep.
Last seen 'past the lamppost'.
Peaked the day he accepted a lecturer position.
Skills
Gaming Taste
To be fair, Farid's taste is not that bad. It is, however, extremely specific: if it has a car in it, a gun in it, or ideally a car you can shoot from, he has played it. He has not played anything released after the cars got realistic enough to make him sad about his own.
GTA: San Andreas
Open world
CJ, basically
Still knows the jetpack code by heart. Does not know his students' names.
GTA: Vice City
Open world
Tommy Vercetti stan
Stole every car in Vice City. In real life, fixes them for free. The irony is lost on him.
GTA V
Open world
Los Santos mechanic
Spends more time in Los Santos Customs than on the missions. Tunes the cars. Never races them.
Need for Speed
Racing
Blacklist #1
Can tell you the correct suspension setup for every car in the game. Drives a sensible sedan.
Call of Duty
FPS
Prestige (several)
His reaction time is faster than his handshake. That is a medical concern, not a compliment.
Career Trajectory
Bachelor's
B.Sc. Computer Science
Graduates with honors and a toolbox. The toolbox proves more useful.
Job Hunt
The Desperation Era
Applies everywhere. Fixes the interviewer's laptop. Does not get the job.
Now
Lecturer, Computer Science
Teaches the thing he couldn't get hired to do. Students fear the handshake more than the exam.
Future
Still in Narnia
Will build his own internet out there. Will middle-finger the ISP on the way out.
Fun Facts
- His handshake has made grown men lose feeling in their hand for a full afternoon. He calls it 'firm'.
- Greets people with a middle finger. Says goodbye with a middle finger. The middle part is unclear.
- Once repaired a microwave, a drone, and a friendship in the same afternoon. The microwave went best.
- Lives so far away that 'I'll be there in 10 minutes' is a joke he tells, not a promise he makes.
- Became a lecturer out of desperation. Became a good one out of spite.
- Loves cars. Can rebuild an engine. Will absolutely middle-finger you from the driver's seat.
In His Own Words
“I don't teach computer science. I warn people about it.”
“It's not a middle finger. It's a firmware update for your attitude.”
Had enough of Farid?